survival mode

We are a teeny bitty bit more settled.  Teeny.

But there seems to be a sensor in my fridge that knows when I will feel settled.  Because then it starts to go out.  It is a common thing.  A constant battle with the stupid thing.  I never knew how much I loved a good working fridge until I got a house that has a stupid one that works every once in a while.  Our back up fridge is on the fritz too.  I didn't know fridges can be moody.  They can.  Stupid moody fridges.

Here is a slice of my life... The kids "helping with laundry."  Maximus sits in the basket.  Then takes the sheet and lays in on Karl who is laying on the kitchen floor trying to fix the fridge that is currently make me want to curl up in bed at the thought of it (sounds dramatic, doesn't it?  I'm weak, I know).  Eva and Samuel roll around on the clean laundry complaining that there is too much to separate for about twenty minutes.  So I divide the two laundry into the two piles.  Make sure that Samuel agrees that his pile is not bigger because if he loses he inevitably complains that his pile was bigger.  They race to separate the laundry.  It takes two minutes.  Sheesh.

We got a yellow watermelon and a dragon fruit on top of the regular produce that we get at the farmers market.  They are both beautiful.  It is so fun to eat such fancy fruits.

Maximus is still an active kid.  Actually, he is getting more and more active.  The doctor joked that it is always the active kids that he sees.  He wears tights on his donor sight to help with the itching and to stop him from rubbing his skin so much.  His hip just healed and now he rubbed a new blister on his thigh.  Sigh.  We may never get to the beach.  If you have any spare baby tights that you don't need, Maximus could use them.  Lucky he isn't old enough to complain that he is wearing Eva's old stripeys or ballet tights.  

We have toys scattered all over the house all the time.  I love it.  And I hate it.  He lines up these dinosaurs in random places and it makes me laugh.  

I do want to put him in a bubble.  I follow him around more than I would have before.  Because he can't be the boy that got burned that has a big bruise on his knee, or got soap in his eyes, or plays in the street.  There are also things like he can't be the boy that got burned and has bed head, or sauce on his face, or avocado on his t-shirt.  How about we can't be the family whose little boy got burned and they have a messy garage, or a broken fridge, or an over grown lawn, or is late for everything, or has cheerios all over the floor, or the mom hurries and changes from her pajamas just because her kids are about to come home from school.  Right?  We are using up all the leeway for being a normal family.  We can only have one of the things on the list and we seem to have every single one of them.  Ya. A bubble.  My whole family needs a big safe bubble.  

Samuel goes to the animal shelter with his school every week.  They are studying animals. He loves it so much.  I love that he loves it.  I also love that I don't have to feel bad that I don't ever take him there.  

We have taking hula and ukulele classes.  And it is making it super obvious that I have the least amount of skills in my family.  But I take one for the team because we are making some good family memories.  

We went to the annual farm fair.  That place is so hectic and loud and brings out all kinds of people.  It is fun, and fun that it is only once a year.  Eva and Samuel were holding hands when we walked in so I had to snap a picture as evidence that they aren't always fighting.  We grabbed malasadas as soon as we smelled them.  The kids got to pet baby animals, we got some herbs, saw a circus show of sorts, rode a ride, and experienced all overindulgence that we could handle in one evening.  

They were making flower arrangements and auctioning them off.  Eva won this one.  The trick to getting a good price is to have a little girl bid.  No one really wants to outbid a munchkin.  It is so fun to see all the tropical flowers.  Not at all like the mainland flowers that I am used to.

We moved Samuel and Maximus into the same room so that there could be a "boy room" and a "girl room."  Eva and Samuel who always seem to be at each other, who were so excited to have separate rooms, who seem to be fighting 90% of their waking hours, still ended up sleeping in the same room.  It was sweet.  I am glad that they have each other.  They are actually pretty hilarious together.  

We are surviving.  Doing our best.  I still miss my family and all of their help and it makes me sad that they miss Maximus so much and they are missing so much of the kids' lives.  I miss Sunday dinner with my family.  Heck, I miss all the dinners with my family.  We eat together a lot.  I try not to let it get me down.  But it does.  Feeling kind of like a Debbie Downer lately.  My friend and I were joking that we aren't glass half empty people.  We are more like glass 2/3 empty people.  Hehe.  Take that.  Half is just way too generous these days. I know there is lots to be happy about.  I am totally aware of the so many ways that we are blessed.  Maybe it's that stupid fridge.  And our stupid back up fridge.  Maybe it's... well... I don't know.  Maybe I am just in survival mode for a while and I just need to accept that.  I can do that.  I know how.  Is this too real?  Kind of is, huh?  I know this will pass.  Don't worry.  Pretty flowers, cool fruit, sweet kids, cuddly furry creatures, happy memories...  

random smiles

We survived the whole week.  A whole week of moving stuff around, figuring out school, homework, church stuff, trying to settle in, and all that.  We even managed to have some good times.  We are getting good at that.  Making good memories amidst chaos and, well, chaos.

Want to see something so gross?  But almost kind of cool and kind of funny but mostly gross? I am so sorry if you don't.   But I just had to share.  This is what a cake looks like that you bake, then take camping, then your baby gets hurt so it sits for months in your garage.  Yummy.  Who wants some cake?  Makes my skin crawl just to scroll over it.  Thanks, now I don't have to suffer alone.  

The kids made it to their first days of school.  It was a success for both of them.  Eva did have to stop by the nurse's office for a tooth ache and Samuel cut up his foot pretty bad, and maybe I forgot that school gets out at 2:00 and not 2:30 but even with all that they were both very happy.  In fact, I have never seen Samuel happier about school.  Such a relief. Big smiles for mom, here. 

We made it to our favorite shave ice spot, Uncle's Shave Ice.  Macadamia nut icecream on the bottom, sweet cream on the top.  And two popcorns.  Smiles all around.

Horrible photo quality, I know.  Sorry.  I left the real camera in UT on accident.  Along with a billion other things.   Not that I am above crappy phone photos.  I am not above much these days.

Aloha Friday Night.  It all started with a sign when we first moved here.  Ever since then my family thinks it's fun to go into town, see who is performing, eat,  and go to Costco and Kmart.  Really.  That's it.  That's all it is.  And that brings lots of smiles.  

Karl and the kids dancing to the old school dance band.  

The farmer's market.  My kids get excited because they relate it to buying a chocolate covered banana.  Even if they have to buy it themselves.  The kids got to try fresh sugar cane for the first time.  And Samuel loves star fruit.  Okay, and that candle?  For whatever reason he wanted to buy a beeswax candle.  And the super nice patient guy taught Samuel how to bargain.  Like teaching him how to name a price and everything.  It was cute and very aloha. Smiles.

Karl took Samuel fishing tonight and snapped this photo.  Samuel in his favorite "I love bacon" t-shirt.  Last night, about a half hour after he went to bed, Samuel came down to get a drink.  I noticed he had his bacon shirt and some shorts on under his pajamas.  Cracked me up.  He said he wanted to be fast in the morning.  That is totally something Karl would have done.  

With no beach time and no pool time, there seems to be plenty of other things to do. Karl has taken Samuel down boogie boarding (we seemed to have lost our good boogie boards in this fiasco.  Hope we can find them)  and gone surfing with friends.  And Samuel has gone with his school.  Another time, when I was getting a little sad about missing out, my friend texted out of the blue that she could take Eva and Samuel, and it pulled me right out of the blues.  In the mean time, I will just keep working on my farmer tan while Maximus and I stay high and dry.  As soon as the little sore on his hip heals (his donor sights itch so bad that he scratches holes in the fragile skin), he can go.  I am looking forward to that day.  I am looking forward to showing off my awesome farmer tan. 

And here is something that has been making us smile all week.  This is how Maximus says, "soup."  He even uses his eyes.  We were eating a local/Korean place where they bring soup out at that beginning of the meal.  Maximus was cracking the waitress up with his requests for "soup" and loud, "thank you!"s and just being him.  She was happy to bring him a second bowl when he asked in his own silly language.   

Things seem a little crazy.  And I feel like I have to stay up late just to get the house in order, just to have it get out of order as soon as everyone wakes up.  But I just keep plugging along.  

The training wheels are kinda coming off and we are going to have to figure out how to do this.  That's the natural progression of things, I guess.  Dang it.  

Plugging along.  Grateful for the random smiles here and there.

home is a beautiful place to be

It's Sunday afternoon.  That means it's practically mandatory nap time.  I love nap time.  But I can't sleep.  It's because I am overwhelmed.  I laid there thinking about how nice people are.  

We left a big bunch of some of the nicest people ever.  Family.  Friends that we have known forever.  It was one of the hardest goodbyes ever.  Ever ever ever.

Ice cream cones and cheesecake after tin foil dinners with cousins on our last night.  

We survived the flight.  No complications beyond kids just being kids.  You know, normal stuff like a seven year old bringing a scout knife, or an almost two year old that uses screams for some of his vocabulary.  Stuff that cause little problems in an airport.

Sometimes saving some money might not be worth it.  They delayed the flight three times.  I said it felt like they were moving the finish line at the end of our marathon.  They herded us around like cattle.  On the plane, it felt like they might ask us to start flapping our arms at any minute. And our bags.  Karl had to talk to five different people to get all of our luggage.  It was in three different places.  I am grateful for patient friends that wait for us.

Did you know Kauai air is delicious?  It's warm, but not too warm.  Humid, but just enough.  

We got home to the nicest welcome ever.  Ever ever ever. 

Our lawn was mowed, our garage was full of our stuff that got shipped over, there were signs, and yellow balloons, treats and a game on the counter, chips in the pantry, the fridge was stocked full of homemade meals and staples (and cleaner than we left it for sure), two kinds of home made bread.  TWO kinds!  The beds were all made and stuff in it's place.  I did NOT leave my house like that.  We are so lucky.  So lucky.  So very very lucky.

So on the first night back when it would usually be Taco Bell or some other gross meal substitute, we had one of my favorite lasagnas, the best salad, homemade breadsticks, and fresh fruit.  

The way to my heart...

We are settling in nicely.  Maximus is settling in nicely.  It will be a long process.  

I went out to my lanai (porch) last night and watched for meteor showers.  I took a breath of the delicious air and I felt so lucky.  

Today we went to church and I can't even explain the feeling.  There was so much love and gratitude that Maximus could be back.  A man that we have looked up to the whole time we have lived here, a 50-something year guy who can out surf most, a guy who has a family with a heart of gold, stopped us and showed us his left palm.  Like a patchwork quilt like our little Maximus.  He fell into a fire as a baby, too.  As he showed us how he can open and close his hand and told us how his construction job requires his hands all the time, I felt so much relief.  His right hand was burned, too.  But not as bad.  Just like Maximus.  And he is a stellar guy.  Just like Maximus :).  

So good to be back.  So good to be a part of such a great "ohana."

bon voyage

{our family.  as pirates.  by karl}

It's time to go.  And the best part about that is that it means that Maximus is healthy enough to go.  We have the hand therapist all set up in Kauai.  And I say, "the" because there is only one on the whole island.  We will take a suitcase full of bandages and tapes(who knew there could be so many kinds?)  and lotions and goos, and continue the stretches and dressing changes on our own.  Karl has a meeting here September so he will bring Maximus in to see the doctors and therapists here.  And we will come back again during the holidays.  

I feel a new kind of scared that I have never felt before.  I am scared to do this all on our own. Meaning, my little family.  My big family has been insanely helpful.  We stayed here when Maximus was born and my dad would watch him so I could take a bath and get ready for the day.  Those that have had new borns know that being able to count on some time to get ready for the day is priceless.  Now, my dad takes Maximus on a walk, and I am guaranteed that time again.  And, let me tell you, it's even priceless-er than priceless. Tonight, my dad mentioned that tomorrow morning will be their last walk and... well... I get pretty weepy thinking about it.  Sentimental and practical kind.  It makes me sad to take Maximus away and I also really need that help.  

I know we will manage.  I know we can do it.  And it's time.  The kids are already missing their second week of school and our house is sitting empty.  And part of my heart is in Kauai. Ugh.  My heart is in two places.  Okay, fine, it's in lot's of places because I still have a list of places I would love to live.  But mostly it's in two places.  

I know that we will be fine.  Hehe.  Does it sound like I am trying to convince myself?  When I think about getting on the airplane, I get the same feeling that I get when I think about jumping off the high dive.  

So, we're setting sail.  Leaving on a jet plane.  Peacin' out.  Sniffle sniffle.  Going to see our house, our car, our Kauai people.  Hooray hooray!